Category: Tips & Advice

Developmental Delay: How to cope as a parent

Posted on by softwarepartner
November 28, 2019
3 minutes

Developmental Delay: How to cope as a parent

Developmental delay in children and how to cope when milestones are not met. Useful links for advice, guidance and professional help.

When our children are born, they are so tiny and perfect. As parents, we do everything that we think we are supposed to do, breastfeeding, babyweaning and wooden toys. Our journey as parents comes with many trials and tribulations from not latching, colic, teething, and nappy rash. Most of these we deal with without missing a beat. However, developmental delay is one that stops us parents in our tracks and knocks us flat.

Skills, like talking, smiling, walking, crawling or sitting unaided, are also known as developmental milestones. These can predictable happen at certain ages for the majority of children. However, for a child with a developmental delay, these milestones either do not happen at all or they are much slower reaching them than expected. 

As parents, we know our children and we know when something is not quite right. They may not be smiling, listening or responding to their name. They may not be sitting, rolling over or crawling. Firstly if you have any concerns, they should be addressed with your health visitor or GP. NHS family support can offer further advice and guidance.

Developmental delay is not your child starting to walk at 18 months when your best friend’s son was walking at 9 months. This is when major milestones are not being achieved by our children. This is when we as parents must step up and seek help for both them and ourselves.

Who can help with developmental delay?

Professional help is always the best place to start for any developmental delay issues. This could be in the form of physiotherapists if your child requires help sitting up, crawling or walking. Speech and language therapists will be able to assess your child and provide advice with regards to speech or language delay. Occupational therapists provide help for those struggling with everyday tasks like dressing or feeding. Educational psychologist if your child needs help with learning or an educational setting.

You need to prepare yourself that the professionals will need to ask questions and carry out developmental assessments to pinpoint the issue and the best course of action for your individual child.

Coping with your feelings When A Development Delay Is Identified

You will have to deal with many feelings, as you navigate a different path than you had pictured with your child. The feelings of failure, the judgment from other parents and the embarrassment. There will be some difficult times ahead, with some very difficult emotions to deal with. Especially those that you have somehow let your child down, that you did or did not do something that you should have. 

This is not the case, a developmental delay may occur for many reasons. These could be genetic conditions such as downs syndrome or complications during pregnancy or birth, like premature birth. Long term illness, family stress or long periods of hospitalization often cause short term delays.

Talking to other parents in a similar situation or that have been through it can provide a way to deal with these emotions. Other parents can also provide great support and valuable information to you at this difficult time. 

Let People In When Dealing With A Development Delay

Just because your mum friends have not been through or are not going through the same experience as you, do not isolate yourself. Arrange the playdates, go for coffee and celebrate the tough job you do of being a mum-especially with the extra challenges that you are dealing with. These ladies will be there to offer support, advice or just listen to you vent your frustration. Now more than ever is when you need the support of other Mums.

Do Not Let A Development Delay Define Them

Simply because your child has not reached one milestone or maybe two, does not mean that they have not achieved any. A developmental delay does not define your child, it is just a page in their story that you will eventually turn. Take joy in what they have achieved and not by what they still have to achieve.

Celebrate who they are, if they have a wicked sense of humour or a death-defying zest for adventure. They may be the kindest soul you have ever encountered. As parents, we have much to learn from our children.

Finding It Difficult To Conceive? This May Help You

Posted on by softwarepartner
November 22, 2019
3 minutes

Finding It Difficult To Conceive? This May Help You

A survivor’s guide to how to get pregnant faster, cope with disappointment and five of the best fertility aids

It occurred to me, as I lay with my legs against the wall and pelvis lifted to better encourage fertilization; ovulation testers scattered liberally over my dressing table; that there had to be an easier way. There is nothing more unappealing than waiting for the ovulation window to be open before having soulless and unsatisfying sex as many times as possible before the window shuts again. Sex became a means to an end, a chore that had to be done to produce an end result.  Finding it difficult to conceive can lead to many frustrations for all those involved to say the least.

Reasons You Might Be Finding It Difficult to Conceive And What Could Help

Problems conceiving can take us to a very dark place indeed and according to the NHS Website affect up to 1 in 7 couples. The main problems include:-

  • A blockage in the fallopian tubes
  • Low sperm count/ sperm not moving
  • Not producing eggs
  • endometriosis (womb lining growing outside of the womb)
  • Pelvic inflammatory disease and PCOS

I was suffering with “Secondary infertility”. Having conceived easily once my ovaries had become a barren wasteland. Almost half of infertility cases fall into this category, a huge 4 million people. Every month I would convince myself that my breasts had swollen, that I tasted metal and that my period was late, so I would rush out to get a pregnancy test only to find that, yet again, I wasn’t pregnant.

So, how do you overcome problems with conceiving and move on? Practically, you can eat a healthy diet, drink less alcohol, stop smoking and exercise more. The NHS offers some great advice and a wide range of fertility treatments to help increase your sperm count, clean the lining of the womb and encourage ovulation as well as the better known IUI and IVF. 

7 Easy tips to help overcome mental blocks

The tendency to ask “Why is this happening to me?” is all consuming when we try to conceive and fail. The temptation is to fall down the rabbit hole of self pity, loss and despair. And yet, baby and toddler groups are full of women who once were told that they could not have children until their little miracle came along. I tried every fertility aid in my ever more desperate attempts to get pregnant. Here are some tips to stop you cracking up in the meantime:-

  • Be grateful for the good that you have in your life, and use the loving energy you would give to your newborn to other parts or people in your life. Helping others helps put our own problems into perspective.
  • Visualise your child with you, talk to them, reassure them and send loving thoughts to them.
  • Step away from social media if seeing endless posts of new mother’s happiness or other people’s babies is too much for you to bear.
  • Do all of the things you will not be able to do once the baby arrives – travel, play sports, volunteer, go to the theatre.
  • Do seek help, it’s better to know what you are facing than to just blindly hope for the best.
  • Consider other options such as IVF, surrogacy, fostering or even adoption.
  • Invest in and protect your relationship, you are both in it together.

Fertility Aids If You Are Finding It Difficult To Conceive

The market is saturated with products that promise to improve your chances of conception and improve fertility. Here are some of the most popular:-

  • Fertility supplements – vitamins to improve sperm flow, improve the health of your reproductive organs and more
  • Ovulation Kits – Tell you when you are at your most fertile and most likely to conceive.
  • Fertility Calendars – Help to track your most fertile times and explain when you would get a positive pregnancy test.
  • Lubricants – Can help sperm move faster and better and match your internal PH balance.
  • Old wives tales – Rosemary under the bed, honey and cinnamon, raising your legs and pelvis after ejaculation and holding a newborn.

I was lucky, I was blessed with several more children. However, I will never forget the feeling of despair and loss while I was trying to conceive. Unfortunately, some people never manage to give birth to a healthy child. Although there are alternatives, such as surrogacy, adoption and fostering; coming to terms with not being a natural mother can take years. There is help and counselling available for anyone struggling with infertility.

Naughty Behaviour May Not Be The Issue

Posted on by softwarepartner
October 11, 2019
3 minutes

Naughty Behaviour May Not Be The Issue

When your little darling suddenly transforms into a raging, disobedient whirlwind we might be too quick as parents to classify this as simply naughty behaviour.   There may be something going on however, that you as a parent, need to help sort out.

Screaming For Attention

My son is in Year 1 at school. He’s a summer baby and is therefore only just 5-years-old. One evening, last week, my little ray of sunshine came home and proceeded to swipe all the heads off my geraniums with a spade. Excellent! He completely massacred them. It was an intentional act to upset me (because he has spent the summer looking after them as he knows they make me happy). He then began pushing his 3-year-old brother about and continued throughout the evening being aggressive and disobedient. He was obviously screaming for attention.

Why The Change In Behaviour?

I was concerned about why there was a change in behaviour, but I needed him to know that what he had done was wrong. He lost ten stars on his sticker chart for the naughty behaviour and was made to apologise to his brother. I then backed up the ‘punishment’ with lots of positive 121 attention and asked him if everything was all right at school. He mentioned the names of a couple of kids who were chasing and teasing him. Now, I’m a reasonable mother (I like to think!) and understand that it is hard to obtain an accurate picture from a little boy who can’t remember what he had for school lunch that day. However, convinced that something must be a bit askew, I decided to ask his teacher for a quick chat. I’d email the school and arrange an appointment.

A sudden change in your child’s behaviour should always raise alarm bells. Metamorphosing from a sweet, happy child into a raging, spade wielding crazy boy cannot be explained as simple naughty behaviour. There had to be a reason – nothing had changed at home; thus, it was natural to assume something was happening at school.

He had no issue going into school, as usual, the following day. However, at pick-up time, he said: “Today was a good day as no-one tried to hurt me.” I turned on my heel and went straight back into school. I abandoned my ‘email the school’ approach within a split-second, and I sat down with his teacher there and then.

Nip It In The Bud

His teacher was lovely and declared that all playground staff would be informed.  Extra care would be taken to ensure my child was happy at playtimes and that no misdemeanours were occurring. She assured him that he must speak to an adult whenever he felt concerned. I felt 100% reassured and glad I decided to ‘nip it in the bud.’ It might be just an incidence of the game of ‘chase’ going wrong, or maybe a case of my boy being too sensitive.  But it could be bullying, and thus, quite rightly, everyone needs to be vigilant. No child should worry about playtimes at school, especially when they are only just 5-years-old.

All young children go through periods where they are unhappy or generally worried about something that they cannot verbalise. It is our job, as parents, to be aware that when they act out of character.  The resulting naughty behaviour may actually mean something is probably a little wrong in their world and they do not know how to handle it. The teacher advised my little one how to say no to being chased in the playground and what to do when something was happening that he didnt like. I backed it up by telling him that he should always talk to her if he were feeling worried or sad. 

Determine If Your Child Is Feeling Worried

Here’s a list of other behaviours that your child might display if they are feeling worried about something:

  • Becoming withdrawn
  • Hesitance or refusal to go to nursery/school
  • Being clingy
  • Crying more than usual
  • Showing irritability and moodiness

Looking At The Bigger Picture

My son needed me to step in and help him out, and I know that he was happy that I did. In his head, there was a big issue, but I had made it go away. If I had reacted to the geranium swiping naughty behaviour by yelling and had not looked at the bigger picture, I believe I would have been coming home the next night to smashed up toys, more dead plants and general disobedience. More importantly, my son would still have been unhappy, worried and upset.

Next time your child transforms into a raging machine or a clingy kid, think about why. Then, don your super-hero cape and sort it out for them, because that’s what we are here to do.

Nursery, Are You Ready To Let Go of Your Toddler?

Posted on by softwarepartner
September 25, 2019
3 minutes

Nursery, Are You Ready To Let Go of Your Toddler?

Releasing our little ones into the big world can seem daunting, but nursery is often a realm of positivity, happiness and wonderment.

 

The Nursery Visits

I visited nursery after nursery. They all came ‘highly recommended’. The thumbs-up came from friends with happy, well-adjusted kids, so I expected to find a setting for my son without any issue. Wrong! I saw six childcare places in total. With each visit, I became more disheartened. None of them felt right – there was always a small something that didn’t sit right with me. In the end, I gave up. Some nurseries seemed too chaotic, others too dull and non-engaging. I thought one was dirty, and another had miserable staff. Maybe I caught them on a bad day; perhaps not. I was not prepared to take the risk.

There Was No More Delaying It

I kept my two-year-old at home with me for another year. But then, of course, came the time to start hunting again. Well before he had turned three-years-old, I felt that he needed much more than I could continue to offer him at home.

He was ready to go on ‘bear hunts’, to build bubble machines in the sunshine and to make and fly a kite on a Tuesday morning. Playing in mud kitchens, regardless of the weather, and to learn some phonics made him happy. He was eager for interactive play with a bunch of friends. I knew it was time to introduce him to the joys of building a ‘home corner’ out of boxes and helping to paint the living room wall with fifteen other three-year-olds. Making boats to go on imaginary adventures in, exploring healthy and unhealthy food choices as part of a group and playing on interactive tables were all awaiting him. It was time to start discovering the big world for himself, and I knew I had to find a way to let him do it.

I Struck Gold

I visited one nursery and struck gold.

It was not a nursery I had seen previously. No one had recommended it, and we knew no one that attended. It was perfect. I knew straight away that this particular nursery was the right place for my boy. My gut instinct felt satisfied!

The Journey At Nursery 

Exactly one year ago, my son began his new adventure. It was expensive until we received the 30-hour funding from the government. When he started, he did not talk (perhaps the result of being the youngest of four), and he refused to eat pretty much anything that wasn’t sweet. He still wore nappies in the day and loved nothing more than his dummy. Fast forward one year and he speaks beautifully, is very happy and understands so much about the world around him and his place within it. He speaks a little French, loves a bit of ‘Pyjama Drama’ and is very partial to some Spanish frittata or spicy couscous for lunch! Surprisingly he quit dummies and nappies within the first month of starting, and his progress has been quite astonishing. He skips into ‘school’ (as he calls it) with a big smile, every day.

Take Your Time And Be Selective

Each setting is different, as are our kids. My boy would have felt out of his depth in a vast, bustling nursery and unhappy in one that was too strict. However, for another child, they could have been the absolute perfect choices. Trusting YOUR gut instinct, as a parent, is the best judge of what is right for your child. Of course, if I had needed to work when he was two-years-old, I would have continued searching for the place that we eventually found.

The Benefits of A Nursery

Pre-school education is a choice. In my case, it has provided my son with so much happiness and confidence and is preparing him brilliantly for big school. He knows how to wait his turn and how to share, the importance of being kind, respectful and having good manners. He’s learnt patience and that feeling of utter pride at accomplishing something new. He is able to stand in front of a group of kids and explain a story or describe a character. We discovered his love to draw, paint, make glorious art, spell his name, remember songs and actions and put on a bit of a show. He understands all about the weather and how to plant a seed and watch it transform into a beautiful flower with care, attention, water and sunshine.  He has learnt we are all different and to be tolerant of those differences.

I could never have given him all that.

Kids Are So Capable

When you find the right setting for your child, truly marvellous things can happen. It’s hard to release them into the ‘wild’ of the big world where they have to manage without you, but when you do, you realise just how capable they are and that their potential is limitless.

Parental Guilt, Do You Feel Guilty As A Parent?

Posted on by softwarepartner
September 13, 2019
3 minutes

Parental Guilt, Do You Feel Guilty As A Parent?

Being overwhelmed by parental guilt is something every parent has experienced. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

I Quite My Job

‘Face-Timing’ my son on his first-ever day at school was not the same as being there. I was overwhelmed with emotions, and they were mostly negative ones. My son, of course, was fine but I felt like the worst mother on the planet. I wasn’t even there to collect him, and so it continued, morning and evening, for the next three weeks. Then I quit my job. (See my article on Work Life Balance) The struggle was real. I was torn between paying the bills and being there for all the small, everyday things. When I announced that I was going to be staying at home and he wouldn’t need to go to morning/after-school club anymore, he cried. Not with relief, but because he loved club. Excellent – I hadn’t even seen that coming!

Parental Guilt? I Think I know Why

No matter what we do, we feel (needlessly) guilty for just about everything it would seem. And I think I know why. It’s not because of the decisions we make, but rather because of the plethora of information online and the prevalence of advice and opinion ‘out there’ that we are in a permanent state of self-doubt. I’ve thought about this a lot and trust me, you have no need to feel guilty. If I had carried on working, my son would have been absolutely fine. He loved club, he loved life and was very happy and settled. The point was that I wanted to be with him and not somewhere else. I thought I felt guilty, but actually I was feeling sad, and I had a terrible case of the ‘fear of missing out.’ It was more about me than him. There was absolutely no need to suffer the anguish of parental guilt for working full-time.

The Difference Today

I have two grown-up children and two small children. The first two came along in a social media free world, and the second two are growing up in the digital age. I was a happy parent, raising the first two. I made decisions and never remember feeling parental guilt over any of them, probably because I had no real clue what everybody else was doing and never sought any opinion either. Fast forward 15 years and I question myself over everything. Social media and the abundance of opinion and advice has a lot to answer for. The internet is a fantastic ‘information-finding’ resource, but social media sites can facilitate the judging of parents and creating anxiety over every decision one makes. Should they be allowed to eat in front of the TV? Or even be watching TV? Should I enrol them in more after-school activities or less? Am I terrible for letting them sleep in my bed? What’s my parenting technique and is it the right one? So many things to worry about and feel like a guilty parent over! I mean, are they getting enough mental stimulation, and should I be playing with them more? Do I need to raise my kids as gender-neutral, or is it ok to dress my boys in blue and my girls in pink? It’s so confusing, and we end up feeling guilty about the most ridiculous things. STOP.

Enough of the Parental Guilt Already – Trust Your Instincts!

Enough of the guilt, mums and dads. Trusting your own instinct on what is right, or wrong, for your family is the most important rule you can live by. What is the best decision for one child or parent is not the best for another. Every situation is unique, and therefore, all our choices will be unique too. Parenting is a tough enough gig without heaping on a load of unnecessary guilt. So, go ahead and use the internet to help you make decisions. Learn more, understand issues and weigh up the pros and cons of a given situation. But don’t feel guilty once you’ve made a decision. If that decision doesn’t work out, then change it as I did. This goes for everything, including much-debated issues like whether or not to breast-feed, have a C-section, raising vegan kids or choosing to home-school. Ignore what everyone else thinks is right and do what’s best for YOU and YOUR child. Staying at home has proven to be the right decision for us. I am happier, and a happy mummy equals a happy family. Being happy is what matters and, you can’t be happy if you’re perpetually feeling guilty. So stop!

Do Your Kids Get Too Much Screen Time?

Posted on by softwarepartner
September 9, 2019
3 minutes

Do Your Kids Get Too Much Screen Time?

Screen Time – We live in digital times where the use of mobile phones is prevalent. But how much screen time is too much as far as our kids are concerned?

The Distraction

We have all done it. We have all, at one time or another, handed our child a mobile phone or tablet to distract them with some screen time so that we can get on with doing something. I am unaware of any parents who have not. It’s easily done when you need to take a business call, feed the dog, load the dishwasher or simply take a break. It’s always really easily done when it feels like World War 3 is breaking out in your home, and it seems like the only way to get some peace. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we just need a break.

How Much Screen Time Is Too Much?

Despite this, we are all aware, as parents, that too much screen time can be detrimental to our toddlers and young children. But how much screen time is too much, and why is it an issue? Let’s look at the negative impact of ‘too much’ screen time:

  • Inactivity – which can lead to obesity, lack of imagination and creative play as well as a decreased attention span
  • Performance issues – lower scores in memory, language and thinking tests
  • Inappropriate content – if left alone with devices for too long, children can stumble across content that creates confusion and emotional problems
  • Digital addiction – which can lead to cognitive damage (structural changes in the brain)
  • Poor sleep quality and duration

Given that the above list appears to present a scary picture of the impact of screen time, what should we, as parents, be allowing our children to do? A recent study was published in the UK by the RCPCH – The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (2019). ‘High screen time’ is determined as 2 hours or more per day, and at that level, detrimental physical, social and mental effects were observed. The report also concluded that while there was no actual safe level of screen time, that not all screen time could be perceived as ‘harmful. The full report can be found here, and it is an enlightening read.

Screen Time Stats

The digital world can help children learn, explore and develop skills that they will require in later life, such as how to manipulate devices and technology. Currently, according to Internet Matters, statistics show that in the 0-5 years old category:

  • 36% play games online for up to 6 hours per week
  • 80% watch cartoons
  • 69% use tablets
  • 52% are online 9 hours per week

Set The Boundaries

There are no concrete, screen time guidelines (apart from the fact that 2+ hours per day is damaging). It is, therefore, up to us as parents to set clear boundaries for our children. Ideas include:

  • Device-free times – to include meal times and bedtime
  • Watching high, quality content together
  • Setting an excellent example with your own mobile/tablet use
  • Splitting online time between passive watching and interactive learning

For my part, I allow my kids to watch cartoons on my tablet. They are 3 and 5 years old. However, I choose the content, and the time is limited to weekends. We also have rules about phones at the table and in the bedroom. Definitely not allowed.

The Alternatives To Screen Time

Providing your child with lots of other stimulating, non-digital, activities pays dividends. Creative play, reading, crafts, sports and music are all ideas of exciting activities that your children can participate in to occupy themselves. As they become older, they will demand more screen time and mobile phones of their own. Next comes social media, the PlayStation or Xbox (or whatever new device will be invented in the future). Creating good habits now, while they are young, will set them in good stead for when they become teenagers.

When All Is Said And Done

I am as guilty as the next parent for using the phone as an unpaid babysitter, but given the information contained in this article and the findings of the RCPCH report, I will, in future, be much more mindful of doing this. When all is becoming a little crazy in your house, and you feel like whipping out your phone for some peace and quiet, maybe grab some play-d’oh or some slime instead. Infinitely messier, but definitely healthier.

Baby Number 2 Arrives, Here’s 5 Things what to Expect

Posted on by softwarepartner
September 9, 2019
3 minutes

Baby Number 2 Arrives, Here’s 5 Things what to Expect

Baby number 2 has arrived on planet earth and you are not sure what this means for your set-up at home? Things may alter a little…

 

It goes without saying having your first child is a life-changer. Your focus, your new-found love for a child; your relationships, everything. But what about when baby number 2 arrives? Surely you have the experience and know-how on how this works, right? Your home dynamic is about to alter slightly.

Changing A Nappy Is Like Riding A Bike

First and fore-most, the nitty-gritty of looking after a new-born are the nappy changes and feeding. Your first experience of this with baby number 2 will either lure you into a false sense of security because you mastered the nappy changes with the first; or you will become unstuck and restart your nappy changing techniques for the second. Either way, the smell and the chaos nappy changes and feeding can bring remains universal for all babies.

Eldest Behaviour May Change When Sybling Number 2 Arrives

When they meet their brother or sister for the very first time, they will be experiencing a whole host of emotions – regardless of their age. They may be overly excited and wish to be at the forefront of everything related to the baby. They may opt for going the other way by not really showing any real interest. This doesn’t mean they hate the idea of having a sibling, they may be simply trying to understand and perceive what it means to them. Some may show initial interest, and then get bored and carry on as if nothing has happened. A sibling response will be unique them. Their little brains just need a little time to process the event that baby number 2 has arrived. After all, they will be meeting a life-long friend for the very first time.

Baby number 2 will copy everything

Like all kids, they attempt to copy or mimic most things they see in front of their eyes. Even more so for a new arrival who has a sibling to look up to in more ways than one. As time goes by, their personality begins to shine through, so you may notice typical sibling behaviour. They may copy certain behaviour such as making negative noises when something doesn’t go their way. This is unavoidable. They are simply observing what they see and learning how the world operates – even if it means screaming when there is no pudding! It is therefore up to you as a parent to look for opportunities to offer simple explanations and begin boundary making.

Your feelings toward them both will be unique for each

When baby number 2 arrives, your recollections of the first arrival will resurface. Your world will revolve around the baby. And the eldest will see this. Feelings toward them both may seem strange at times. Let’s be honest, baby’s can be boring at times. they just sleep, feed and poo. They have no personality. And yet your love for them is raw. It is new. You are learning how to love a child all over again. And that can be beautiful. Your love for the eldest continues to grow but be aware they may not see it this way as your attention will be split.

Time will be divided…sometimes unequally between the two

Your eldest will undoubtedly possess a bundle of personality; more so than a boring, sleeping baby; you have also known them longer. As things settle a little and a routine is established you may notice that you spend more time with the eldest. Maybe mummy is busy bonding with baby number 2 and you feel left out and end up spending a disproportionate amount of time with the eldest. This isn’t a problem at all. Remember that your eldest still has emotional and physical needs which require attention. They need to continue to play, to experience childhood. They may be confused as to why mummy and daddy are giving this baby all the attention. You may notice they may want you to play with them more. You would probably rather go play tag in the garden than change the baby’s 5th nappy in an hour. So, go and play with them. The trick is to know when to say no, so you can tend to baby number 2 and the eldest needs to learn to accept this – and they will.

Support Your Child’s Physical Development

Posted on by softwarepartner
May 3, 2019
3 minutes

Support Your Child’s Physical Development

Learn how to support your child’s physical development, including both moving and handling and health and self-care.

Two Parts to Supporting Your Physical Child’s Development

Welcome to the last in this series of four blog posts. I hope you’re having as much fun reading them as I’m having writing them! This post is specifically about physical development. Physical development is one of the three prime areas of learning in the Early Years and is split into two parts:

  • Moving and Handling
  • Health and Self-care

I think this is the area that parents probably feel the most pressure in, as it involves things such as, ‘My child walked first!’ and ‘My child was potty trained first!’ You know exactly what I mean, and like I’ve said in the previous blog posts, most of the time the parents that say these things are stretching the truth or overcompensating for something else. It really doesn’t matter who did what first, as long as your child is happy, healthy and developing at their own pace.

It’s Hard Not To Compare Your Child’s Physical Development With Another

I know it’s hard not to compare yourself to your neighbour, with the nanny, who works in some hoity toity job and somehow manages to fit Pilates in 5 times a week and their child, somehow, manages to hit every milestone first! But remember, things are not always as they seem!

First, I want to touch on the key milestones for physical development, so that you can see roughly what to expect and when to expect it.

Check out this link for a summary of these milestones: Milestones Summary.

But what I really want you to get out of this blog is ideas for things to do to encourage your child’s physical development. I’ve split this into the two different areas, to make this easier for you (handy right?!).

Health and Self-CareBirth to 11 Months: Stroke my cheeks or pat my back as you speak to me.8-20 Months: Let me use my fingers to eat. Let me try to use spoons (this can get messy, I know!)16-26 Months: Let me wash my hands and face. Allow me to try to put my own shoes on.22-36 Months: Let me help make lunch eg try cutting bananas.30-50 Months: Make sure I brush my teeth twice a day and tell me why I need to do this.40-60 Months: Dance with me!Parent’s GuideMoving and HandlingBirth to 11 Months: Put me on my belly and let me kick my legs. Try covering my legs with a light blanket and let me kick it off. Put some toys near me so that I can reach out and touch them.8-20 Months: Allow me to splash in the bath. Give me a pram or trundle bike to walk with. Put my toys further away so that I have to crawl to get to them. Use lift the flap books and let me lift them. Play dough! Sing finger rhymes with me.16-26 Months: Let me carry a little shopping bag. Give me a bucket to experiment putting things in when I’m digging. Play dough! Using rolling pins and cutters, this is possibly the best thing to help your child with their fine motor skills.22-36 Months: Play ball games. Let me use ribbons to wave around me. Let me try to dress dolls or teddies using clothing with different fastenings.30-50 Months: Let me use children’s scissors to cut different things (anything you can think of). Make obstacle courses.40-60 Months: More ball games, try increasing the difficulty by using smaller balls or making the rules more difficult. Do threading activities eg shoelaces through bobbins.

Letting Them Learn At Their Own Pace Is The Key

I know physical development can be a challenging thing and once your child starts crawling, you’ll feel like you won’t ever have a minute of peace again! But just keep up the good work. Encourage them to try different things but let them learn at their own pace. This is particularly important for things such as potty training, which would need a whole other blog post all of its own! Take your time and let your child explore the world around them! It can be great fun.

Thank you for reading this series of four blog posts. They have been based around the prime areas of the Early Years Foundation Stage, meaning that the topics talked about in this series often form the basis of your child learning and development. Concentrate on their social and emotional development, language develop and physical development and everything else will, more than likely, fall into place.

Read the other blogs in this series:

  • How Do I Help My Child Develop Social Skills? – Here.
  • Language-Rich Environments – Here.
  • How do I encourage my child? – Here.