Month: May 2019

Happy babies, full tummies and food in your hair. The highs and lows of weaning your baby.

The Competition Between First Time Mums

I didn’t even know what a butternut squash was but because Annabel Karmel told me I should get one, cook it and serve it to my 5-month-old, I did and she loved it. It was the year 2000 and back-in-the-day when we started weaning at 16-20 weeks; and no-one had heard of baby-led weaning.

In my new circle of friends, all of us being first-time mummies, we talked endlessly about the boiling or steaming of carrots, the virtues of mashing up bananas with avocados and why none of the babies seemed to like broccoli. The competition was always there under the surface. Which baby was the best eater and whose little darling “absolutely devoured” exotic fruit? There was never any mention of baby food jars. Heaven forbid one of us should actually open a jar, stick in a spoon and feed its contents to our child!

All That Matters Is The End Result

Back in the day when I tried so hard to do it perfectly and felt so imperfect because all my child wanted was Ready-Brek, I soon learned that having a satisfied child was more important to me (it’s amazing what fruit and veggies you can hide in a big bowl of Ready-Brek). Fast forward 19 years and 4 babies later and I have resorted to many a baby food jar, many a microwaveable meal and have yet to purchase a vegetable or baby food steamer. I have silently stuck my fingers up to the Nigella’s of the kitchen. I mean, who has the time? Most of us work or are running around after other children and have loads of commitments and never-ending to-do lists. As long as your child is fed nutritious baby food, does it really matter how you get there?

I was always grateful to have a stack of supplies in the cupboard for the day when the top of the food-mixer lid blew off or I forgot to defrost the 3-5 ice cubes of lovingly prepared red pepper purée. Or, importantly, for that day when my screaming child threw my beautiful apple compote on the floor and refused my (non-steamed) carrots. I was always a little miffed, although honestly relieved, when the jar of baby Bolognese went down smoothly with no fuss what-so-ever. My very loose baby weaning plan all worked out in the end as child number one is now a healthy 19-year-old who eats all world foods, still loves Ready-Brek and berates me because I don’t like falafel!

What Is Baby Led Weaning Anyways?

I had a baby of weaning age in 2015 and I didn’t even know about baby-led weaning. I discovered it for the first time at the crèche, where I saw a child with mashed-up food and chunky bits spread all over the high chair tray. She was eating with her hands, was happy and smiling and… to me it looked like utter carnage. I remember feeling quite ancient and old-fashioned because I knew nothing of this new-fangled baby weaning system, although I did know not to try and shove baby rice in a 16-week-old as we now were advised to wait until they were 6-months-old. The childcare worker told me to “try it out” and that “everyone’s doing it.”

Whats All The Hype About?

I tried it out. I talked about it with my latest set of mummy friends. Everyone was, indeed ‘doing it’ and everyone did, indeed, love it. The dolloping of mixed veg, chicken and sauce all over my child’s high chair tray was enough to give me sweaty palms and a few extra grey hairs. Watching him handle chunky bits and not puréed food made me nervous and my baby, floor, clothes and sanity all took a hammering. I watched him sit in that high chair for ages, terrified he was going to choke (which he never did). I desperately wanted to follow what everyone else was doing, but it made me anxious.

It didn’t take more than three or four more baby-led weaning attempts for me to revert back to my year 2000 comfort zone. I did modernise, though, by giving him lots of finger foods in-between me spoon feeding him puréed and semi-puréed baby food. It was cleaner, less stressful and he still learnt to eat by himself. Now, aged 4, he’s a whizz with a knife and fork and is willing to try anything at least once.

In The Words Of Frank Sinatra, ‘I Did It My Way’

I followed my semi-modern method with my fourth baby.  It was a good experience and at least there was a lot less mess to clear up. To boot, I was not spending each mealtime clutching a fistful of baby wipes and manically cleaning every little splash in sight like some possessed woman. By making meal times as pleasurable and stress free as I could, I believe that my kids have all gone on to take real pleasure in food.

I’ll have them all eating falafel before you know it.

When toddler temper tantrums are out of control, they may just need a little bit of doing absolutely nothing at all.

Toddler Meltdown Meant Bunnies Thrown And Leg Bashings

There seemed no logical reason to hurl the bunny across the floor. It wasn’t a real bunny but still, the poor thing didn’t deserve to be thrown, full pelt, across the bed and head first into the wall. It landed face down on the floor, next to the previously thrown bear and pillow. The quilt was next in line. Except, given its size and awkwardness for throwing, it received a leg bashing instead. Two, tiny three-year-old legs were raining blows down on the quilt with as much force as my little man could muster. His face was getting redder, the bed was getting messier and the tears were starting to stream down his face. This was a major toddler meltdown.

Fireman Sam Caused The Fire?

The cause? Fireman Sam. Or rather, lack of. I had made the mistake of giving an iPad to my toddler, before bed. It was just for a short time, whilst I ran around getting school uniforms ready for the next day, picking dirty washing up off the floor and doing a whole host of other mundane mummy jobs that no-one likes doing but that have to be done regardless. I was over-worked and just needed to get everything done. He was already tired and ready for sleep and I had just given him electronic, visual and auditory stimulation that he didn’t need. When it came to switching off the never-ending fires, that seem to occur on a daily basis in Pontypandy town, the boy flipped. Usually, he settled well. We had our little routine and I was often back downstairs in 10 or 15 minutes.

Not tonight.

OK, So It Was Me And Not Fireman Sam

I’m sure that I am not the first to have an overstimulated toddler that won’t sleep. The overstimulation signs were obvious, and it was my fault. Classic signs of being unable to cope washed over him and it took me 40 minutes to rock him to sleep. I sang Old MacDonald softly to him the entire time. At first, he cried and struggled but then, as he calmed down, he started joining in with suggestions of ‘cat’, ‘fish’ and ‘crocodile.’ Finally, he fell asleep in my arms, which was a relief because I was rapidly running out of animals.

Easier Said Than Done When It Comes to Toddler Tantrums

I’ve seen the effects of toddler overstimulation before, so I knew exactly what I had done. Too many back-to-back activities (swimming, ballet, mini-football) or simply a big dose of sensory overload (noisy party, Christmas, family gathering) can cause a toddler to feel totally overwhelmed. The result is toddler temper tantrums. They become unable to communicate and use tears instead to demonstrate their feelings. They refuse to carry out simple instructions and can become aggressive. The best way to deal with this is to change the environment or remove the stimulation, calm things down and reduce the exposure to visuals, sounds and maybe people. Helping the child to feel safe and calm will always work. Anyone who has experienced toddler tantrums in public know that this is sometimes easier said than done.

Downtime and Individual Play Time Are Key

It is difficult to know how much we should and shouldn’t expose our kids to. It is said that the human brain develops more, and at a faster rate, in the first 5 years of life than at any other time and thus exposure to stimulating environments is an important pre-cursor for learning and development. That said, every child needs to be able to experience downtime and individual play time. There is nothing wrong with scheduling nothing at all and letting children use their imagination to stimulate them. In fact, it is an important part of their development.

All children are different, and every parent will come to know how much activity and stimulation their child needs. Of course, we all make mistakes (like I did) because this parenting job is a really tough gig and we all get some things wrong some of the times.

Our Plan To Prevent Toddler Meltdown Now Works For Us 

In our house, one after-school/nursery activity per week seems to be enough. Weekends are spent going to birthday parties, swimming and day trips out exploring but nothing is set in stone. If we feel the kids are tired, we just stay at home. It’s flexible and I like it that way. We all have jobs and probably other kids to juggle, so it’s not easy to get the balance right. At least we know that the kids will tell us, in their own toddler meltdown style, if we are getting it wrong.

We try so hard, as parents, to get it right. We strive to do the best we can because we all want happy, healthy children who are developing skills and talents. If we are lonely, or raising small people alone, it can be especially tough. In these instances, or just when life gets too much, Fireman Sam can, indeed, ‘save the day’ because sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. At other times, it’s amazing how much time an empty box and a toddler’s imagination can buy you.