Self care is greatly needed for mothers after the birth

Self care is greatly needed for mothers after the birth

The self care of mothers is one of the most important needs after birth to ensure the best physical and emotional health of them and their babies.

After all the waiting, months maybe even years dreaming of holding your precious baby in your arms, the moment has finally arrived. Congratulations!!! You are a mum and with that comes the overwhelming urge to be the caretaker for everyone. Unfortunately, with this insane desire to care for everyone else you forget the most important person, you! The self-care that you need to practice every day both as a new mum and a person is forgotten amongst the stresses and strains of family life.

We spend 9 months of our pregnancy being told to look after ourselves, take and get plenty of rest. Then bang – baby is born and you are forgotten about. Resting is not on the agenda and neither is taking care of yourself! But self-care is such an important part of being the best version of yourself. Not only for your own mental health but also so that you can be the best parent that you can!


This phase is not the same for every mother and each experience is very personal. For most the unimaginable love that you feel for this new tiny human is so overwhelming and euphoric that you think you are invincible. Until the exhaustion, after birth pain and general life makes you feel like there is a mountain on your shoulders. But it is at this time where you really need to be making time for your own self-care. I know that you are very far down that list of priorities. If you are on that list at all!

The first thing that you must do is ‘be kind to yourself’. Be prepared that you will not always get it right, nobody does. There will be times when the sink is full of dishes and nobody has clean clothes. But these things are far less important than your mental health and need to take care of yourself as well as you take care of your baby!

What is self-care?

When we think of self-care, I think we overcomplicate the idea. It can be as simple as watching the baby for a few hours so a new mum can get the rest that she so desperately needs. Dropping off a home-cooked meal to a new mum. Just so she doesn’t have to worry about a meal for the rest of the family that night. You would be surprised at how much these small things can mean to a struggling new mum.

Don’t get me wrong if you want to really go for it, then there are ways in which you can make a bigger ‘gift of time’ to the new mum. While the new mum is resting and you are watching the baby, give the house a quick tidy up or put in some laundry.

Wired to struggle

If you think about the first thing a baby does when it is born. Its first instinct is to cry. This is their way to communicate their need for food, touch, warmth or be soothed. This was your baby’s first signal of self-care. As a mother, you need to be in tune with not only your child’s need for self-care but also be able to hear your own cries for the same.

I will share a secret with you that took me many years to learn. One I still struggle with to this day. You must find a way to remember your self-worth and self-love. To remind yourself daily that you are as important as your child, partner, parent, dog or anyone else that you feel comes before you. The truth is that if you are not practicing self-care then you are not the best version of yourself! Which then means you are not being the best parent, partner or daughter that you can be.

For those days when you doubt your self-worth and there is no love for yourself, I am telling you that you are beautiful, special and deserve to live a life that you love!

Audre Lorde once wrote ‘I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.’ So, mama bear lets survive!!

How to choose the right nursery, mission impossible?

How to choose the right nursery, mission impossible?

Knowing how to choose the right nursery can be difficult. Here we look at some top tips to make it as easy as possible.

Any parent can find is hard to know how to choose the right nursery. If you live in a populated area, it’s likely that you have several options to choose from. Even if you only have a couple of choices, trying to figure out which one is best can be a headache. Here we look at ways to make the choice simpler. This will give you peace of mind that your child is going to a great nursery.

Make a list of your needs

The first step that you want to take is to make a list of what requirements you’ll have. This includes the hours that they are open, what time the can be dropped off/picked up and other considerations such as when they close down for holidays.

Location is also important. If you work far from your home then you need to consider whether it’d be more convenient to have them closer to work or home. Before you even start to look at nurseries, have a clear picture of exactly what you’re looking for.

Check their conditions

Once you have a list of potential nurseries, you want to check their conditions to see if you agree with them. What are the rules if you’re late picking your child up? What is their policy on sickness? What do you need to bring into the nursery?

These are all questions to be asked. There are other considerations such as the quality of food they will be serving. Also, what the process is on moving rooms as they go through the age groups? You don’t want to have any nasty surprises after your child has started.

Check the inspections

All nurseries will need to be inspected for their competence. All of these reports are made publicly available online. A good report will give you peace of mind that your child will be in a healthy environment whereas a bad report will ring warning bells.

A nursery shouldn’t necessarily be written off for a bad report. If it needs your needs, then see why they were marked down and what they are doing to improve it. Often a nursery with a bad report will be inspected again very soon. Check to see when a new report would be available.

Give them a visit

There is no better way to get a feel for a place than visiting it yourself. You will be able to see their range of activities, how they educate the children, the staff ratios and how the nursery workers interact with the children and between each other.

It is also a great opportunity to ask any questions to have further clarity. A lot of people don’t like to be nosy but this is one place where you want to know everything that you can. You will also get a feel for other aspects such as security and how the children will be protected.

Find references

As well as the inspection report from the authorities, you also want to check out reviews from other parents who placed their children into that nursery. Often parents will choose a nursery that has been recommended to them.

There are plenty of online resources where you will be able to check out reviews from parents. You can also ask in other areas such as social media for any options. It’s all a part of building up a picture of just how good the nursery is going to be.

Trust your instincts

You can start to stress yourself out if you start overthinking about which nursery would be best for your child. Thankfully all nurseries are inspected and therefore if there are any problems with them, they will be identified.

Your parental instincts will guide you in the right direction. As well as your child’s needs, you also have to consider your own. You don’t want to have to travel too far or pay more for childcare than you’re comfortable with.

How to choose the right nursery? As long as you follow these steps, you won’t go wrong. And in the blink of an eye you’ll be figuring out how to choose the right school!

New Year new beginnings

New Year new beginnings

New Year, new beginnings for parents that are far important than losing weight, dropping a coffee a day or pledging to go to the gym every day!

New Year, new beginnings, the time for change. It’s the time of year when everyone is thinking about big changes for the New Year ahead. These range from losing that baby weight, starting a new business or going back to the gym and sticking to it. But with all that’s going on in the world are these really the most important changes that we can make as parents. New Year, new beginnings need to be different for parents. They need to start off the New year less stressed and more focused!

New year new beginnings for parents

We are all so busy, rushing from one thing to the next. Never is this truer than for parents who are trying to juggle work, school, childcare, and 6 million other things. So at a time when we are pledging to make big changes for the year that lays ahead, where exactly should those changes be made to make the greatest difference to our lives. There are a few things that we can do as parents to ease ourselves into the new year.

New Year resolution of time

Find some time in the day, that you can give your child or children your undivided attention. That means no multi-tasking, no phones, no laptops, no distractions. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, it could be your bedtime routine, family dinner, walking the dog or playing on the floor. Try to find time in the day when you are both at your best and can really enjoy each other’s company. This time should be the best part of your day to strengthen your bond.

Let the small things slide

Our little people often test our patience to breaking point. This is not personal, it’s just their way of finding their way through this minefield of a life. So take a deep breath or several depending on what kind of day you have had and breathe! Try to get down to their level and understand their confusion and frustration. Help them to calm down and identify how they are feeling. If you try to relate you stand more chance of connecting with them and helping them find a solution. This should in turn help to lessen these outbursts and can be turned into a fantastic learning opportunity.

Don’t compare yourself to other parent’s

We are so committed to ensuring that our children have the best lives that we are often unkind to ourselves. But why wouldn’t we when we are bombarded with the lives of “perfect” parents on every form of social media. It’s hard to not compare ourselves but what we don’t see are the lives behind those photographs. What we need to do is stop adding those pressures to our already extremely stressful lives and concentrating on the things we may or may not be doing.

Instead, we need to focus on are WE doing everything that WE can to ensure our children live happy, healthy and productive lives. Priority needs to be given to building great relationships both with your partner and your children.

New Year, new beginnings…

Looking forward to a new year is so important. But being kind to ourselves as we navigate the worries, stresses and endless feelings of never quite getting this parenting thing right is the most important!!!!!